Sunday, August 31, 2008

Ruins at Three Rivers

I was looking for the ruins fo the Global Trading center which were
more like my dream, but couldn't find them, so here's this. My dream
ruins were clsoed in and darker than these, but otherwise similar.

Doublebooked in the Huge Ruins

Somehow, I have managed to double-book my time.  Two sets of people arrive.  They are Hal and another man I know in the dream but now don't know who it is, and Sara and Erin.  Hal and X are there for a meeting about something that is clear in the dream but gone now.  Whatever it is, it is important to me.  And the girls are there for family time and they are important to me.  I am embarrassed and mortified that I have double-booked and am suggesting things we could all do together (go to the movies) and seeing myself that none of them will work well and feeling terrible because I want both the meeting and the time with the girls.  At one point I tell the girls and other assembled people who Hal is, flashing up an image of him as a kid (as if they'd have known him then) and they are all astounded.  (It's as if the girls are at once my daughters and my compatriots.)  At this point, X is lying on the floor falling asleep with boredom.  AK!  (I feel bad and guilty, especially since I also want to do whatever it was we were going to do.)

This is part of the same dream and all woven together with it:

I am living in a HUGE old mansion/house/ruins that I have often dreamed about before.  It has many floors.  It is made out of stone and concrete and the upper floors int his dream are like the ruins of an old factory.  Somewhere there is a room with the animals in it and I need to feed them but can't find them.  I keep going up and up and wandering around looking for the right stairway and being frustrated.  Eventually, I finally find it on the opposite side of this huge warehouse-like structure and it's actually an extra floor up than I thought (the fourth rather than the third).  Because I was talking to all my guests and wasn't prepared I don't have the cat food with me and am upset.  (It's so far back to get it and I AM not find the place again).  I am pleased that the tadpoles are still alive.  I have dogs, cats, and other animals in this huge floor.  I am talking to my guests who are also wandering around, telling them about the tunnel under the road/river (in some dreams, it goes under a river, but in this dream it seems to go under a road.).  The place is dangerous, and Anne La Forest has appeared (she wasn't there earlier and is hopping down from one layer to another while a vast open area is right beside her so one false move and she'd be a goner.  The girls have found a whole floor of attic stuff from the past and are happily examining and talking about their finds and showing them to each other and me.   There are photographs and objects/artifacts, clothes on hangers , etc, all from their childhood and very interesting to all of us.

I live in these ruins, and they are very familiar, shifting, and unfamiliar.  At some points, I am almost lucid.  I seem to know I am dreaming and that this is a partially recurring dream or dream location.  It seems that this dream locale is also the one that has Aunty Ann's bedroom tucked away in some mezzanine layer with hidden staircases, though that was not in this dream.  The lower part of the building is more like a regular house and is neat and "clean" (in the dream), but there are many levels both above and below that are in various states of ruin and dangerous and strange.  In this dream, we went up, but the past was up there in an attic-like way.  I know sometimes attics represent the future and basements the past, but here, there was a level that clearly represented the past.  Even inside the dream, I knew that.  Also, there were more levels that the "physical" structure would seem to indicate or support.

1)I am worrying about accomplishing multiple goals in one time frame where they don't work well together, in both the dream and phenomenal life, and no answer is given.  I am having trouble balancing multiple priorities and goals. Not all my goals are being achieved.  This worries and upsets me.
2)My house (body, self) is multi-layered and partly in ruins, constantly shifting, and dangerous.  No solution is given.  I am overwhelmed and a little confused--in the dream and in waking (phenomenal) life.
3) am concerned about the loss of various aspects of my mind/memories/past/
life.  My whole life, in fact.
4)I am concerned about the balance of my "work" and family.

These are all true, but I don't know how to solve them.  It is easy to say "simplify," but much harder to do.  8-31-08