Melting Star Crystal Thank You The Thank you from Aunty Ann to "the Kids and us" arrives in a large coffee can but is left unopened a while--when we open it, we discover that the thank yous are painted on disk shaped ice cubes a little smaller in diameter and thicker than a hockey puck. The paint is running but we can still read the thank you (in green) and maybe with pink flowers. They may have been edible. Only three are left unmelted and they are mostly melted, there were obviously more, the can was full of them). I feel guilty for not opening them sooner. But the part that thrills me the most is that as the ice cubes melted, they formed a gorgeous delicate star inside. This awakens me (internally, inside the dream, not lucidly, but excites and thrills me and fills me with wonder and joy. But then I want to photograph it, obstacles arise and I am unable to. This upsets me.
When I wake up, I wonder if I could paint it, and realize, 1)I don't have the skill, probably, and 2)photographs are a better way to record something really unusual, because (at least in the old days) they are less likely to be faked. A poem might work if one could earn the epiphany, but it's sort of a surprise, a gift. Although the dreamer may not have earned it (I may not have), the poet still must, at least in the preparation. They cannot be photographed but shine inside the heart.
At the party without BB I am at a party without BB who is busy somewhere else. I am feeling lonely and missing him badly. I miss his company, his companionship, his wit and his touch. The party is busy, lots of people and stuff going on. But I feel out of place without him. Then some guys start hitting on me. I am very sad and upset struggling with this, and I miss BB sexually and for his protectiveness, as well.
I spent the last two evenings away from Keith and felt it at the poetry reading and at the DIA, where he often (usually?) accompanies me.
I had a lot of dreams last night, but the rest seem to have slipped away and each of these two dreams have more parts.
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